Just shut up for a minute


I am being dragged out of my imaginary worlds, where I would much rather stay, by all of the noise in the real world.  I don’t like debates, and I don’t feel super-eloquent when it comes to putting my thoughts on difficult matters into scribbles.  So I just have stray thoughts.15rr25 (1)

  1. I’m a part of a demographic that’s kind of always been a target of terrorism, usually domestic.  So the arguments about connections to coyly-phrased “foreign powers” don’t really fucking matter all that much.  If someone’s burning a cross in my yard, I don’t really care whose team they’re on, I want to know if maybe someone could STOP GIVING THEM WOOD.
  2. That could have been my club.  Dear (mostly-inactive) City Club was never overtly a gay bar, but I heard enough douchey rageboy haters call it the “gay bar” that it might as well have been. And it was always a safe space.  Necto is a gay bar.  This could have happened there.  I think a lot of the people who are spinning this incident, in both directions, are coming from a place where they lack that context, that empathy.
  3. It’s easy to talk about “gun free zones” and demographics when one has never had to seriously, I mean really, seriously consider that something like this could happen in a place that they consider to be a safe space.  To someone for whom a public sidewalk isn’t always a safe space.  This hits home for a lot of us because our safe spaces aren’t always, though.  They’re not shooting up or bombing your churches, or your clubs, or your schools, or your doctors’ offices.  They’re not showing up at your funerals.  They’re not co-opting your police forces and governments to turn the system against you.  All of which gives the outsiders, the ones who don’t have to deal with this shit directly, the luxury to argue about whose fault it is, about what causes shit like this.
  4. Which is all chaff anyway.  At heart it’s an attempt to attack the root of the problem, but this is a problem whose roots are sunk so deep into the foundation that the only way to solve it would be to destroy the entire building, and we are kinda living in it, all of us.  (Do you follow that metaphor?  It kinda sprouted as I was typing it.)  You can’t reach the roots right now.  There are people who are going to be hateful and want to hurt other people.  Doesn’t matter what religion they are, if they’re from this country or not, what color their skin is, who they’re fucking.  NONE OF THAT MATTERS. THEY CAN’T BURN CROSSES IF YOU STOP GIVING THEM WOOD.
  5. I mean, shit, fuck, yes, the Rotten People will find ways.  It’s what they do.  And there’s no way to weed out the Rotten People because nobody’s ever going to agree on who they are.  Right now the only logical solution looks like it’s to take away the ability to murder efficiently.  Yes, in a gun-free society, this fucker might have walked in there with a knife and just started slashing.  But unless he’s Tony Jaa, that doesn’t end with 49 people dead.
  6. I actually understand the arguments of gun enthusiasts who oppose an outright ban.  I’m not a gun person myself, but I understand the fascination and affinity for mechanical things.  You like what you like, and I think it’s fair that you should be allowed to have them.  BUT, goddammit, if nutcases were using Miatas to murder hundreds of people, I’d still be on board with proposals to make it harder for nutcases to get Miatas, no matter how much I loved them.  I would be in the “cold dead hands” camp when it came to taking my Miata, but I’d also be willing to do what was necessary for the peace of mind of people around me.  Does that make sense?  I got distracted by the thought of a world in which Miatas were weapons of mass murder, and that got weird.  When Miatas are outlawed, only outlaws will have Miatas.
  7. Really that’s a hard argument to make too, since it gets into government meddling and people using registration lists for all the wrong reasons and civil liberties and ARRRRRRRGH. If people aren’t willing to be responsible with their toys then they shouldn’t be allowed to have them; they respond that they’ll fight if someone tries to take them away, and I want to respond, “well fine, fuck it then, solve all of this yourselves” and go hide in my basement.  But then I don’t get to have things.  No clubs. No safe spaces. No guarantee that I’ll be protected by police or the government, unless I want to walk around with my own gun all the time, and the Gun People respond, “Well, what’s wrong with that?” because they can’t imagine themselves in a place where they wouldn’t want to carry a gun, probably because they’ve never had to live in extended circumstances where they might be called upon to use it.  (Even soldiers in warzones get to go home, luck willing.  And I imagine when they get there, many if not most of them are happy to put the guns away and not worry that someone might be putting crosshairs on them.)  All because everyone’s coming at it from different points of view, but the ones who have all the weapons and money have the luxury of not getting what everyone else is going through.
  8. Look at all these goddamn loose thoughts.  I hate that I’m having to have them. I want to work on my story, and let the violence and severed heads be fictional and under my control for a while.  ‘Cuz seriously, gunfights in movies are awesome, you guys.  Gunfights in real life suck. THAT’S WHY WE PUT THEM IN MOVIES.  That way, those of us who like them can watch them, without all the awful real-life bits, and those who don’t can watch other movies.  So maybe all I’m asking for is the opportunity to change the channel once in a while.  I wonder if there’s a way to just…take all the people who want to kill other people and put them all in once place.  Stick them on an island, like Battle Royale, drop a shit-ton of guns in there, and then just ignore them until the ammo runs out.  If they want more then, I’ll gladly give it to them.  Just stay on your island, where everyone who is there has chosen to be a part of the gunfight.  Who knows?  Maybe it would turn into an idyllic, racist, sexist, homophobic, anarchic paradise in a matter of weeks.
  9. This is a tongue in cheek thought because I honestly don’t want a pile of innocent people to die, but I can’t help but wonder what would happen if crazy people started shooting up gun shows.  Or multi-million-dollar evangelical churches.  Or high school football games.  Or country clubs and C&W bars.  Terrorism is terrorism no matter whose flag it flies.  How many attacks would it take before they stopped finding excuses like, “oh it’s the fault of X extremists,” or “oh it was mental illness.”  How long before they just took the wood away from the cross-burners, so to speak?
  10. Thanks for listening.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled feelings of inadequacy, confused gender and weird fascination with cars.